lit up against the wall......

< emo>


i'm alive.


< /emo>

Can't very well change the past but the future is looking pretty grim. Ain't that some shit?
Like i can't catch a break or nothin'.

A fair weathered friend is trying to convince me to go to India with him. Means i'd have to lose more weight ( i've cut a few pounds...apparently smoking in lieu of eating works wonders but i'll have to cut that off too for endurance purposes. What's next, drinking?) wean off alcohol (i don't wanna go now), go to the range for some practice, brush up on my hindi, make 3 thousand and go. or not. i don't know. i'd be skipping a semester. but really, it may not matter in a year.



Hahahahaha.

Met two germans tonight, one from Munich and the other from Hamburg.




They're so hot,
but so nice and approachable. kind of threw me off.
That never happens!

They curse laugh smoke and drink,
adorable accents that they despise but play with,
i am so smitten with lust.

seems no matter what i do,
no matter how hard i try,
i'll never be better than him.


Fighting a ghost has never been easy
but he's more than that.
A memory
Maybe more.












And what can flesh and blood do,
to compete with that?

i always vow that a new day is a better day,
but with so many better memories that beckon,
how can i do anything but languish
in what i once remained?

Eh, an attempt at trying to focus my rather scatterbrain'd self.













-Finalize the bullshit at school with regards to my grades.

I hate lazy professors and TAs. I gotta graduate you fuckers!



-Settle the parking tickets when i took my brother to court.

Fucking hole in my wallet that would dwarf the grand canyon thanks to that ungrateful prick. He'll get his in due time but that still won't fix a $400 debt to the po po,



-Scan in and maybe fix up the sketches.

I've been about one or two pieces a day so far. Want to get a rhythm going so i can start punching out more without a hitch, maybe sharpen my game up. My deviantart account's getting dusty but it always does for months at a time. It's been a while since i had nothing to do like this, which leads me to the next step...



-Stop wasting so much fucking time on WoW.

Being bored out of my mind with no place to go is taking its toll. I had a free subscription for a few months and while the game itself is tedious, it's kind of fun to play with my friends from school. I'm done with soloing; 2:1 in favor of alliance PvP server? GTFO. That's a gankin'. Still at this point, we're all sharing the same sentiment so it's been kinda slow. So honestly, i don't even know where the hell my time goes. I will admit, it does help with the insomnia sometimes, when the night is just crawling.



-Get my brain back on track.

I've been getting stupid and stupider since i came to school (and i'm still making bad decisions though not in such volumes as before...maybe i'm getting old? Who knows...) and my vocabulary/mental clarity has since dropped to depths that are rather abysmal. I don't know, maybe memorize a word or three a day, use them, all that regular garbage...



-Go back to the gym and get punished for skipping out since November.

i had 7 classes last time around but this time, it should be a little different. No one to spot me but i doubt i'm going for regular strength and conditioning. Maybe just cutting? I'm still kinda mixed about bulking up though. My agility's a little rusty and i know i've lost power through the decrease of mass lately. It's what happens when you don't eat. Still, i don't want to just gorge myself and get all rotund again. I just started to fit into clothing i haven't worn since i was in 7th grade albeit, the pants are practically shorts now. I was a faaaaaatty. Still am but less so. Anyhow, question lies at to bulk or not to bulk. Fuckin' question of the year. If only to do both (bulk and cut)? Either way, yoga's some fun fun times.



-practice the violin again.

no explanation needed, none given. I miss it. On that note, i need a new bow. <3



-get better acquainted with a fresh dose of apathy

I realize often too late i'm too empathetic. I wonder if it were absent, how much more of an asshole i'd be? Probably a less, fucked in the head one. Eh, maybe not. Who knows, maybe we'll keep that one for now.



-stop making lists

i have nothing witty to say. so i leave you with this instead



train of thought derailed yet?

good, keep moving.

You know what's fun? Driving down the highway before it's been plowed, giant sprays of snow parting like some angel wings heralding your arrival.


That said, fucking Northern State man. At 3am, not a goddamn soul alive, just me and Mike putting along with sleet in our wake.

i'm running out of patience.
fuck them.

My car is sealed in ice. It looks kinda cool except that i have to chisel the key port so i can actually get in the vehicle and warm it up for 20 minutes so my engine doesn't crack like my last. shonuvabeetch.

idle noise:
5 finals in the space of a day and a half next week. right on....



in other news, anticipatin' is a motherfucker. I'm plagued with dumb ideas but with a dearth of better things to do, i feel almost obligated to follow through.

Strangely, i miss people but not in the same capacity as i did before. It's the ones i never got to say good bye to, the ones that always said keep in touch and never did.

makes me wonder if that little chickadee with the blue ink still walks those empty nights, with that half crooked grin on her face, cheap rum on her breath... Her pale face lit with just her eyes, with sights seen she can't undo... They're dilated now, with the indifference etched in her face. here's to hoping the guy she spoke of last, won't destroy her like the rest.

fucking milk and cookies yo.

The one time i try to go to sleep early, i fucking can't. Fucking interrupted/disrupted sleeping cycle bullshit. Nothing to do but wait for the sun to rise i guess.


EDIT 745: Did i sleep? no. I spent the last several hours catching up on my mangaz. B&W comics ftw...

Well, since i'm at such a dearth of things to write about and i'm not making any progress on my AMS hw whatsofuckingever, i might as well make a bit about the currents state of affairs my life's been in. Not that it's compelling in any way, i just figure, why not list, yet again, what it is i'm fucking up and inevitably the things i won' be rectifying anytime soon.

in no particular order

taking 7 classes this semester., so 7 finals within a few days of each other come finals week. Wouldn't be half as bad if i wasn't so etch a sketch'd in the brain. I'm not bombing them but it's tempting to just say fuck all and sleep for the rest of the goddamn semester. Hell, why settle for a semester, the rest of the fucking decade would be nice. Unfortunately, that would also mean i have to pull a rip van wrinkle/winkle/wahtever and take that extra decade afterwards too.

I haven't worked out in a month or so and i feel like a bloated fatass. Ironically, sicne i haven't been working out, i've taken up smoking a pack of cloves every two days or so. Yea, why, i don't know. i miss the rush of endorphins after punishing myself for a few hours but i can't find the time in the day anymore. Still, the cloves are a temporary thing (and really, they are) and once the semester ends, i'll have the time to go back to running like an idiot at the dead of nights through the woods and fields i love.

On the topic of health, my diet is fucking terrible. I eat maybe once or twice a day, mostly just a concentration of high density carbs and an influx of protein at the most random hours. Yea, no real set sleep schedule has me scarfing all the left overs in my house at 3am or 2 in the afternoon, depending on when i'm home. The only other supplements i take are coffee, booze, more booze and a little more booze to round it off. Not too many sugary things except the occasional cookies or bag of chips that happen their way in front of me. Beer is getting a little more agreeable with me than it used to; i used to hate that shit but after drinking so fucking much of it, the different varieties of ice piss is growing on me. The Belgian beir Hoegaarden ain't bad and as always, Guinness has been that staple. Both are pricey for what they're worth but eh. Always hada thing for dark stouts anyway. Maybe it's because it's bitter, who knows ;D

The music's been different lately...mostly sticking to the basic tenents of metal (heh, religiousy, eh?) and a few inclusions of the shit i couldn't really stand back in the day 'cause the beats disagreed with me. Yet, Nine Inch Nails have been growing on me as has a lot of industrial and some *gasp* french electrotech, ala Justice, and a few other random ones like Showtek and Northern Lites. Yea, lots of non-lyrical stuff...speaking of which, check on Powerglove. It's weird since it's mostly video game music but it's metal video game music. Did i dare think tetris could sound bad ass? No. techno'd? maybe. Metal'd? not so much....but they deliver and in fucking spades. God damn, i sound like some rabid fanboy...i'll end this part with an idea what it is i speak of

( What's been stuck in my head on loop for a week now )
no real visuals, just the music.
let's see, what else?
meh, nothing. Much about fuckin about mm?
Caring is getting me in trouble. Trouble is, i can't help myself man.



I just had the sudden urge to go strap on boots, bust out the hawk and glowsticks and go raving hardstyle. Not now chief, i'm in the fucking zone!

Yea it's been almost a full 12 months since i last updated this thing but that's okay...it just feels like i haven't done anything worth mentioning so i haven't. Just...things lately have been coming to a head and now more than ever i feel as though i would have benefited from large amounts of indulgence earlier in my life than chasing it like my life depended on it. There's a craving that claws at the deepest depths of my feelings and while i write this, the pain is phenomenal. I also have simultaneously grown 5 inches of hair to cover one eye, wear ironic size zero tee's that barely cover my corpulent frame and jeans to match that crush my nuts so hard i piss through osmosis.

Throw in the urge to punch myself until my hands shatter, the bones fall away and the bloody stumps are worn to nothing, i'm dandy. It seems i'm also donating money to science so when they can successfully make flash clones, i can be first in line to kick my own ass for reasons unknown...at least for now. i can find a reason later, i just want to get worked over by someone who hates me with a passion undying like the morning sun day after day but that particular prick can only laugh at me across some thin metallic reflection. Did i mention that my glasses had gone from some metal alloy to hard bulky plastic things with coke lenses? Jesus, if only if it were made of coke. Then i could sing the jingles all the fuck day...

...I'm not looking for help, i'm a guy, that would contradict my very existence. Ask for directions? Nigga, be real. That ain't gonna fly in here, GTFO. Walk aimlessly, waste time, money and years of my life i'll never get back... Well, i never said i didn't enjoy college

Someday when this period of my life has long since been left absent of my trailing shadow, i'm not sure how i'll take re-reading this idiot drivel that has been by handiwork. Do i pat myself on the back, repeat some new age hippy bullshit that i read off some tshirt at the mall OR do i just laugh at how fucking retarded and naive i was and sigh when i realize how fucking retarded and naive i was? Hell, it's laughs a minute when i reread the old journals i had as a kid and how much i want to punch myself in the face through the monitor. I will admit though, every bad thing that happened to me then? i had it coming. Every bad thing so far as i can remember now that i keep denying was my fault? well, i'll keep stalling until i come up with a better excuse. Till then, it's back to the same fall back of the immortal three letters i'll repeat until someone can explain why. why someone else? Why the fuck should i bother?


Wait, am i going to give a fuck later on? Why am i being so goddamn gimpy about this whole future bullshit? why am i asking so many goddamn rhetorical questions? why am i trying to follow up this entire paragraph with questions? Questions! Well the streak is dead. Hooh rah. Al Pacino.


You know, if someone told me i'd be dead in a few years that would imply i'd have be alive that long but honestly, who the fuck cares?

i don't.

:3

(if you can actually finish reading this, kudos to you, it's rather painful to witness such brutal raping of semantics)

No phone, no internet and lots of sleep are really starting to rail me like the busy LIRR. I don't know how or why but my phone decided to declare my sim card as KIA and after swapping several back ups, it suddenly came back to life, plus phonebook. Piles of turds, really but i don't know why or even how the hell it happened, and neither do they, though their (Cingular) reps kept insisting i dropped it in water or the phone was exposed to some kind of liquid. Aside from the fact i treat it like the grail, (we all know the joy that was the last time it fell off a roller coaster) the sim card should have been fine under different phones, and no, the phone was just peachy. It just decided to become auttistic after a regular charge. Ah well, i have a few people i have to get back in touch with....

If there's one thing about living here i love and hate, it's the lack of people interaction i exchange on a daily basis. I have no business with the outside world but aside from the nuance of perfect silence, i also have nothing to do. Yes, the lack of internets has provided me a withdrawal from Wiki but i fear in the same respect, i'm starting to care less about it than i used to. Live and learn i guess...

So long story short, i have a backlisted entry that pretty much sums up the last few months that i have yet to resend but it'll be up 'n about later. Till then, i've had little to no fixed schdule; i've been sleeping up to 12 hours a day, randomly waking, passing out and feeling like i've been hammered with a sledgehammer upside my noggin like it was out of style. I've tried to become productive but i'm feeling like an unmotivated slob so i have little to no drive to do, well, nearly anything. I do kind of want to drive off the side of a cliff but i'd want to watch that in slow motion so that's out. Damn you mario, for your neat little 1up gimmicks!

Bye the bye, I hate MCATs. I sincerely hope that when i take it, i have the foresight and mental stability to do the right thing and do so well, i can justify the powder and hookers that are most likely coming right afterwards. I'm looking at you, Vegas. Be ready, for i come with hosts in the hour of your doom as heralds of destruction to your seedy little soul. viva, las vegas. But really, i do hate it. All computerized, no paper and an even tighter time constraint than last time. This shit is ridiculous....Bio, physics, chemistry and orgo....and i hated all of it. -_- ;;



I just leafed through the workbook and sobbed. I'm going to need something to help me through this.....


In other news, hot damn if the Departed wasn't a hilarious movie. MArky Mark's got quite a mouth on him eh?


My brain feels like a damn etch a sketch. Wake up one afternoon and suddenly the whole world is fuzzy, the streets are singing and there are fleets of singing black pixels that won't shut the fuck up. Try and shake that loose and suddenly, i remember i've got school shit i have to take care of, panic and forget as i watch a bunch of people dance at some bar i have not yet figured out how i got into in the first place.

Yargh...

i really should invest in some elbow pads. Some bitch nearly ran me over and i nearly stabbed her so it was all gravy. only problem was that i tore open my elbow, again and so it's been bleeding. still squeezing puss out of it and it's all nice and hot to the touch. yummy :D

Been having not so much of a life but i think i've said that so many times, i should really shut the fuck up. truth is, i really haven't noticed where the time has gone and i'm amazed it's December already. Finals are around the corner and i'm rather excited and not so thrilled. Excited since i'm not going to India as planned b/c my friend has a family emergency in Pakistan so i'm going to do something else. Haven't quite figured it out yet but i'll most likely be working. Yea, real drag.


For the first time, i'm praying it doesn't snow. The weather's been real cold lately and i'm doing my best to skate every day. I go to and from class with great gusto, much the chagrin to my fellow classmates but it's okay. i'm still wearing my (even more) baggy jeans and rocking out with the facekickers. I don't know any good skateshoes so if you know any (and if it makes a difference) lemme know. I'd like to feel the difference but i'm a cheapskate and i don't want to blow $60 on a pair of Etnies and find of *DC or D*C or DC* is better (whatever the fuck it is). 

What am i doing? nothing and i'm kinda scared of it. I haven't been sucked into any crazy drinking, i've actually had so little to drink i was drinking tonight two weeks before finals but i'm obviously otherwise ocupied and therefore, not out enjoying myself. whatever.

 The Devil Wears Prada reminded me how hot Ann Hathway is. The little missy has those huge huge doe eyes that i'm taken aback by. But every time i think she's going to be all innocent cutesy, i'm swiftly reminded by Brokeback Mountain (i hope you don't think i'm too fast :D) and it's all feathers from there. Still doesn't chnge the fact most of the hot chicks here deserve a swift punch to their vag; their drunken idiocy is only so tolerable and after a point i want to ram a cinderblock against their temples.

 I need a drink.

So i met up with a buncha older skaters, riding wit htwo generations. Three guys from the 80's and one dude from the 70's-60's. Hilarity. Still good times.


Well, on my first hill bomb, i wiped out after going too fast and not being able to bail from a giant chunk of road seam that was conveinently missing. I tore open the last wound from Thursday which had been healing fine until i ripped it open along with soem fresh skin too. Now i got a rash from my elbow down to my forearm. It doesn't look like much because it isn't but there's more skin missing than the pic shows.


Contact


Drag

Still, fun times. I also tore open my right hand a bit, the fingertips are missing some skin and so is the palm of my left hand. My right leg is tender and has a weird feel to it.


Overall? I feel fucking great. I do think i'm going to invest in some elbow pads, or at least get one for my right arm. I keep falling that way and protecting my head at the expense of my elbow. Fucker's getting all pussed and shit. Thank god for first aid kits and my whacked out idea of carrying peroxide in my car.
Sizzle for shizzle. BURN


The missing skin makes it hard to put my elbow down and to hold anything. Cup, dick, pencil, etc etc. No more wanking for me, or at least until it heals. :|

The irony of this situation? My board's meant to go downhill and fast. REALLY FAST. yay?

It's been an odd few weeks. From the constant barrage of schoolwork and otherwise lack of time to myself, i'm falling back into my insomniac nightmares. I've been reading a lot, otherwise occupied by my work and i'm trying to pray i get hired for a tutoring gig soon that my friend's tryign to set me up with. twenty an hour for home schooling...not bad, even if it's a few hours a week. i really don't care but at least it's something.

I'll be the first to say how much i want to indulge into the 7th gen console wars but i'm trying to stay away from sitting on my ass and pouring money into things i have no expense for. It's pretty as hell but the prices are too high for my taste, even for Twilight Princess. Speaking of which, the Wii may be the only system i may be able to get ahold of without breaking myself but even then, the timing's terrible. I got MCAT's coming up soon and i've got to start busting my poor glutes evne more so than they already are. Gears of War looks sexy though. So sexy. mmmmmmm

I'm wrapping up my semester and i'm honestly not sure where i stand. My classes are easy, yet hard and before i fall prey to a bunch of terrible oxymoron,s i'll just say i'm in middle of the road. I'm giving much more than i have before and it's been a whole world of stress, even more so than before. * on an unrelated note, what the fuck is with people and hating on college students bitching about college? Where the fuck did you get it in your head that we have no right to complain you fuck? "If you hate it that bad, just quit, stop bitching about the great opppourtunities you're presented, you fucking leech". Um, no? I'm sure you bitch about how much you hate work, why don't you quit and kill yourself you shit monger? No matter how 'lucky' i am to be in college, it doesn't change the fact it's still fucking difficult. I can hate my teachers if i want to, i can hate on my classes if i want to. If you prostrate yourself over something difficult and can't do anything more than worship it despite how hard it is, kudos to you for 'seeing the bigger picture'. I'm doing it for a reason and obviously if i'm not enjoying myself and still doing it, well that kind of means i have to, don't i, you stupid fuck. DIAF

I'm getting better at this longboarding business...may be doing some of it this Saturday with a group of like minded enthusiasts though i'm not too sure what kind of run it's going to be.Really hoping it's not way too out of my league but it's worth a shot. Weather's nice and i'm hoping the sun may stay long enough to warm my bones before the garage sessions.

Geh. I want a Wii. Like whoa. It's so cute.



I need to get out some more. yargh.

I'm 2-0 for sleep. Don't know why it happened this week but it's been no sleep for me. oh the manatee. Subsequently, thing's are funnier.

I caved in and got the long board. That sweet lil puppy is going to get loved like a welsh corgi is by a mid life crisis ridden housewife dying for attention. Now i get to join the echelon of assholes riding around on campus with those things. Yay. Now i just have to get skate schoes since the boots make it something uber hard. Or not, i don't know. Maybe a handicap's a good idea. Or not, what the fuck am i talking about, i'm a bloody novice. ::cue a smug Heath Ledger "she's hardly a novice" :: Damn that man and his batman shenanigins to come. Oh woe.

The board


The trucks



Yea, that be it 'cept i pray mine will come black. I asked so maybe i'll get lucky. Who knows. FYI, to anyone that knows this tech info or not, i denno, it's a Bombhills Sector9 with Holey trucks and 72mm wheels. That's about as tech savy i'm goign to be with this so i'll leave it at that. Anyhow, i have a class to catch.

Been in a state of limbo, courtesy of a massive amount of work that's been accruing over the last month or so. Maybe if i chose to go ahead and not give a shit, things would be alright but i haven't so for better or for worse, i'm stupidly busy.

on top of the regular stuff, i've got a sudden zeal to go do other stuff. more specifically, just...stuff. yessir, i'm being as specific as i always am but i'm serious. For starters, the Evil Dead muscial looks awesome, there's a host of movies i want to watch, hell, Halloween is in two days and i'm itching to go rock out at the Parade. On the other hand, aside from the clandestine things, i'm more curious to go about and do something more than work...and i haven't even started the possible tutoring gig + phlebotomy lab /research/work thing. Work work work and school. Frickin sucks.

I do feel kinda stupid for being a bit wistful but can anyone tell me they don't miss Halloween as a kid? Getting dressed up in whatever, late night rumble scrambling for free candy, dodging cops, tagging idiots and scrapping with older kids, (they were always older, i never quite understood why) their intents dripping with malice, snarling right back behind masks of latex, steel or plastic. That rising rush anonymity grants to vandals as they struggle to keep the upper hand scrapping it out between like minded fools, bent on harming the other...only to dissapear into the cover of night as the sirens roar near. Yea, outside the darker stigma of halloween would be the haunted houses, checking out spots people swore were haunted and freaking out as someone stepped on broken glass or heard a distant creak deep within the recess of some abandoned house, hearts pounding harder with every step huddled around the only genius that brought a light or lighter since the rest of us were idiots and forgot.

Yea, some of us grew up and put it away into boxes that we'd open years from now, freaking at the size of the spider that had taken residence in the plastic jack o lantern or marveling at the cool threads you'd only have the balls to wear that one night and never again or at least until it was fashionable to dress up like an asshole. My old mask is still on the pillaged manmannequin head and still reminds me of the more stupider things i've done years ago. The ski mask that would cushion

Seems like the more dangerous and absolutely retarded things to do were the most fun...but it's become far less frequent and even less appealing as time's moved on. It just feels like the same assholes that were rolling in the rough with kids 5 years their junior or more still do it and the urge to break them never gets old. The old haunts have been boarded up, most of the woods locked up (if that makes any sense), the cops are less lenient and the kids...well if it's possible, they're even stupider than the year preceding them annually. I don't know.

I'm always up for a night of carousing but it seems less likely i'm going to get around to that anytime soon, so i'm pretty much resigned to writing this between reading, making this entry so fucking disjointed i shouldn't bother posting but whatever, it's done.

I can't be the only one that thinks Condoleezza Rice looks constipated about every picture she's not trying to smile in, am i? She's got that angry "shut the fuck up, adjorn the meeting so i can pay homage to the porcelein throne in peace" glare down pat.

In other news, North Korea's got teh bombzors. wtf lol gtfo. waaaaait, lookit that. they even got a handy dandy card that says they're part of some nooklear club. AH! My brain feels cracked. In pieces. Scattered.Like you just blew a line of smack off some hooker's ass, slapped it with a stack of ones and cried becasue the white powder jiggled right off.

i'm tired, i don't know. I'm out of coherency, creativity and something called care. Everything's fading gray and i feel grrrrrrrooooooooooovy.

NATCH!


p.s. - i keep hearing that danceline tune repeatign in my head and it's driving me absofreackin loutely crazy. Crazy? yeshum, kuh-raaaaizness is just around the coh-nah. Nex' ta yo photy five feeedy. fiddy, that's what the neighborhood kids call hime. But his plastic still says Jackson

O_O

 This Monday, it's going to have been a three year roller coaster that has yet to come full halt. It's come close once or twice but it's always picked up and took off without any problems. Never really knew what it was i did or been doing that kept it alive but i'm still trying, wayward as it seems.

 Not too often i can quote as a line from some wicked cheesy song but they said we'd never make it. Lookit us now, 3 years later. I wish i had an explanation but like before, i reallydon't. Just a collection of memories that have been slowly bridging this gap to a certain realization that i may not actually want to be alone later in my life. Would i be wrong to desire that after refuting such a claim for so long? I'm not entirely too sure myself. Who knows, the feeling may pass. I haven't really given that aspect of my life so much thought than of the late. More so since the end is much more closer and i'm actually debating what to do.

I fucked myelf up by not having a major to go with. Seeing as i have no other real choice i might have to switch to humanities and double with sociology and minor in art or go sociology and double with history, despite that i haven't taken history since Freshman year. Yea, they'd be a cinch but i hate doing things needlessly. All that fucking work and to do what, go to med school? None of this matters anymore but whatever, it's something.

 Ran into a PA who was on his surgical rotation, assisting some cranky surgeon, going into Med School via PA credits. It's kinda depressing since he'd be going to a single semester or something and shelling out 40-60k. Wicked debt.
 
 Well, the reason why i brought that up is since it seems JoAnna and i  may ways after she graduates. It's not written in stone, but...i don't know. The way it's been lately...i like it. I think of what it would be like without and i genuinely get saddened. When i see other relationships, i realize how good i have it and have to face what i'd be giving up. It's not a fun thing, nor a happy thing. I don't know...not that i ever did but you know what i mean so i'll leave it at that. I'm pretty sure i'm not going to date anyone after this though, or for a long time at least. I put some thought into it and realize i'd still be back at square 1 since i have the social skills of a rock. Where the hell is a misanthrope going to meet people? case and point. Booze, you're going to be my best friend.

Surely i jest but what of i do not is the fact i'm in love with oysters so i'll leave you with that, since they;re so damn good.

yea!

Time sure flies, huh.

Things are moving smooth (read: i'm losing track of time) and it's kinda getting into routine. For the first time, it's a good thing.

Been running three miles every day since i got back to school. It's wildly exciting when the first day or two, all you can manage is half and improving more and more. I'm at three comfortably, about to push it to maybe three and half or something. We'll see since i'm no superman and i'm still a fucking wreck after i'm done. Still, i feel fucking excellent.


On Saturday, i saw my cousins, wich i should keep better contact with. Family related but the best part of it all?  Around 4 or so, they dragged me out and exclaimed "We're skateboarding!"

Motherfucker, lemme tell ya. Shit's mad fun. Wicked fun.

Mark's got quite a few boards and we were trying them all out, non stop. 4 hours, on a Saturday afternoon, in a two block radius somewhere in Jersey. I didn't think i'd make it past the first step but all things considered, i kicked ass. Didn't fall once, and made it down a steep hill mutiple times plus traffic. It's not the shortbard like i thought it'd be but a longboard; think surfboard with wheels kinda thing. Not really about tricks but more about the navigation and travel aspect. Still, hella fun. It wasn't pretty though, i had steel toe Tims on and had to ditch the shirt since i was getting it drenched. Got a fw dirty looks but what do i care? i was having fun and that's all that mattered to me. That and not getting run over by cars. That was also, kinda key.


I'm almost afraid of getting one but if i get an A on my first orgo test, def. buying a board and a pair of decent skate shoes and joining the legion of those idiots skating around campus. This is trouble waiting to happen but i can NOT wait.